


Pwditat

by mickey2k14



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Author!Stiles, Breaking and Entering, Cats, Gen, preslash, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 15:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11763267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mickey2k14/pseuds/mickey2k14
Summary: Stiles has always admired his hot neighbour, and all it takes is Stiles' cat inviting herself over to make him introduce himself.





	Pwditat

**my stupid cat sneaked out on the balcony and into your open window and he has this habit of destroying furniture and pissing everywhere so i followed him inside and you came home earlier than i expected and found me in the middle of your living room but i swear i’m not a burglar ok**

 

 

 

There are some undeniable perks to being a stay at home writer because, while Stiles' hot neighbour has to leave the house at eight thirty, sometimes not coming back till six or even seven at night, Stiles gets to have long, luxurious lie ins every day. He wouldn't give them up for anything, because he swears he has a soul bond with his bed, but he's recently been waking up earlier so he can gaze at the perfect specimen of man that lives next door to him.

 

And, once Stiles is awake, he can't get his brain to shut down again so he normally works on his latest novel and gets lost in it. For the past few months, Lydia, his editor, hasn't even had to chase him and she's never been happier.

 

"I don't know what you're doing," she'd said, when he'd presented her with his revised manuscript a week early, "and, frankly, I don't care but keep doing it."

 

Which, really, was a sign. Because, when Lydia Martin told someone to do something, they did it and Stiles had no choice but to enjoy some guilt-free ogling.

 

He's filled his quota for the day and it's kind of stupid but Stiles does honestly get a warm feeling in his chest when he sees his neighbour and it sets him in a good mood for work. So, after a few hours of mostly writing and some procrastination, he thinks it's time for a snack break and he grabs a peach for himself and refills his cat's water bowl. She's an aloof cat and, sometimes, he won't see her for days so he doesn't mind it.

 

But, when it turns four and she hasn't bothered him all day for food, he worries.

 

"Hey, Pwditat," he calls, "are you hungry?"

 

She doesn't come running but that's no big surprise, either, and he sighs, going to find her.

 

It's only after he's walked past the balcony twice that he sees movement in his neighbour's house and he frowns because he knows the guy isn't home. He spends a second there, staring in, and does a double take when he sees a familiar bushy white tail.

 

"Oh, shit."

 

Because Pwditat is one of the most ornery cats in the world and Stiles has long since learnt that he can't make her do anything that she doesn't want to. Their relationship is one of compromise, mostly from him, and his house shows that from the well-loved and used style that graces all of his furniture. From what he's seen of his neighbour, always impeccably dressed in tailored suits, he knows he wouldn't be amenable to that.

 

Stiles sighs, seeing Pwditat disappear further into the house, and knows that today's going to be a long one.

 

"Hey, Lydia," he says, grabbing his phone, "how much trouble would someone be in if they broke into someone else's house?"

 

"I don't know, Stiles, I wasn't aware there was any breaking and entering in your novel."

 

"It's a new idea, came up recently," he says, since it's close to the truth. "I was thinking that it could be the start of an epic romance or it might end in a restraining order."

 

She hums. "Write it down and you can research it later, when you don't have a pressing deadline on you."

 

"But it's urgent!"

 

"Stiles," she says, tone sharp. "don't do anything stupid."

 

"Pwditat broke into my neighbour's house." he groans. "And the guy's like six foot something and ridiculously well put together and he will not appreciate that little shedevil messing up the order of his home. I really don't want him to kill me."

 

Lydia sighs longsufferingly. "Why don't you just wait it out? Pwditat has to eat eventually."

 

Stiles is more than a little doubtful. "Or it might give her more time to wreck someone's house."

 

"Maybe but, when she gets scared, she pees everywhere. You remember Halloween last year, don't you?"

 

"I try to forget."

 

She laughs. "Then don't inflict that pain on your neighbour. Stay firmly in your own home and write me a bestseller."

 

He wants to and he manages another few pages before he's distracted again and he just can't concentrate without worrying about Pwditat and what she's doing. It's nearly five by then and she hasn't eaten since the morning so he knows she's going to be hungry and a hungry cat is a bad cat. It's that, more than anything else, which has him pushing his laptop away and looking out across his balcony.

 

Because he can probably make the jump.

 

No, that's a lie, he really can't. Which means he's going to have to do this the old fashioned way. And Stiles hasn't broke into a house for a while, because with adulthood comes the threat of real jail time rather than a wryly amused father, but it's not a skill he can forget. It's how he manages to break into the house next door in less than a minute and, as much as he knows he shouldn't be proud of this, he still grins with the thrill of it.

 

The inside of his neighbour's house is exactly how he imagined it: beautiful white couches, plush rugs and tasteful decorations. It could be a showroom, complete with stock family photos, because it hardly looks lived in. There's some evidence of a person living there in the kitchen, a frozen ready meal thawing on the counter and a fruit bowl with two brown bananas and some apples, but that's it. It's spotless, sure, but it also looks immensely lonely and it makes Stiles a little sad. He can't stand in a stranger's house and feel sorry for him, though, so he pushes his feelings aside and goes hunting for his cat.

 

And, because she's an awful cat, she's nowhere to be seen.

 

"Pwditat." He whispers, carefully making his way through the house. "Pwditat, where are you?"

 

He'd seen her on his neighbour's balcony, which was on the first floor of the house, and Stiles starts making his way to the stairs, keeping his steps light. His cat's a flighty fucker when she wants to be and he doesn't want to give her any more warning than he has to. It makes him only too aware of how quiet the house is, eerily silent, and he can't help the sense of unease that begins creeping over him. Because this could get him in serious trouble and, now the thrill's wearing off, this is starting to feel more and more like a bad idea than a fun adventure.

 

Seriously, fuck cats.

 

Luckily, he finds her as soon as he's on the landing, seeing her directly in front of him. And, because she's a contrary bitch, she takes one look at him and darts straight into the bedroom. It's a bedroom Stiles has had fantasies about but, somehow, not even his supremely vast imagination had come up with this scenario: breaking into his neighbour's house trying to catch Pwditat before she peed everywhere. Because that would be a godawful first impression that not even he could come back from. As it is, Pwditat rolling on his neighbour's bed and getting her fur everywhere is probably a close second. There's no way a guy as meticulously clean as he is will appreciate this.

 

The damage does seem limited to the bed, though, and all Stiles needs to do is keep it that way. He takes a second to think about it and then he just flips the duvet over, successfully cutting off any method of escape, and grabs the whole bundle in his arms. There is no way he's going to give her the slightest margin of wriggle room or else he'll be at it all night. He's just thinking that he might be able to wrangle her back to his house and bring the duvet back in time, going over it with his lint roller, when he hears more than sees the car pulling up in the drive.

 

And, well, shit, this looks bad.

 

There is literally no way in which Stiles can saunter out of the house looking like a good guy so he has to hide and get out some other way. He makes the executive decision of ditching the duvet, trying to smooth it out as much as possible while he has a nine pound cat in the crook of one arm, before running over to the ensuite. From Stiles' experience, he knows his neighbour likes to change out of his work clothes, fix dinner and then go for a run in the woods behind their houses. If Stiles can just wait it out, he can leave when his neighbour does and no one will be any wiser. It's not the best plan in the world but, given his options, he thinks it's a little better than the alternatives.

 

He hears footsteps coming up the stairs and then he's tensing as he waits. There's an exhale of air as his neighbour comes into his bedroom but it sounds more like a sigh than anything sharp and accusing. Hopefully, it doesn't look like a man and his cat have snuck in and messed up his duvet. It doesn't, apparently, because there's then the sound of a belt unfastening and pants being unzipped and the rustle of far comfier clothes. Stiles thanks all his lucky stars.

 

Until Pwditat pees.

 

Because, when Pwditat pees, she really goes for it. Stiles might drop her in the bathtub hastily, tugging the shower curtain far too harshly to hide her and ripping it all off, and there's no way his neighbour didn't hear that noise. He curses himself just as the door is wrenched open with such force it hits the wall with a bang and rebounds back. Stiles thinks that noise startles everyone but probably Pwditat the most because she's the one that actually jumps in the air and that's when things really go wrong. There's urine everywhere. It's all over Stiles, because he's the one closest to her, and it even sprays across his neighbour's bare chest and murderous face.

 

"So, um," Stiles says, because can't stand the silence and he figures things can't get worse, "I'm Stiles, your neighbour."

 

It's not an auspicious start to their relationship.


End file.
